I have had the pleasure and privilege of working with words, spoken and written, all my life. Because of that I am delighted to take every opportunity I can to share what I’ve learnt from this life-long love of mine. Today I’d especially like to talk about the period since 2017 when I took my Corporate and Executive Coaching Diploma and started to really understand the connection between words and feelings or emotions.
Reading between the lines
During my coaching training weekends in the delightful surroundings of the Latimer Estate in Buckinghamshire, I learnt from wonderful trainers and coaches about the relationship between vocabulary and our emotions. I learnt how a lack of suitable words could seriously hinder your attempts to convey how you were feeling towards someone. How insufficient language experience and fear of florid language because of stereotyped opinions about ‘fancy’ poets or ‘duplicitous’ politicians might fatally cause you to shut your ears at the very time you need them fully open. In fact, I learnt a great deal, particularly with the study of NLP, about what goes on ‘below the surface’ and, importantly, what can be done to remedy the situation with a little mental training to bring our puppy-like mind to heal when required. Clearly a great deal of this is beyond the scope of a simple blog post but the point to take away I think is that words matter more than you might think and, like everything in life, a proactive stance will almost always get you further forward.
The power of words
So, in the short term my tip would be to open your mind more to words, even difficult or ‘ugly’ ones, and to the power they can give you when spoken or written with honourable intent to communicate better. In a business context, effective use of words is vital for building up rapport, itself a very important part of the fabric of a sound culture, essential for the building of just about any team you care to mention.
Getting the knack
As a final thought I’d like to mention that this article has come about because my ponderings on the value of a word I find both interesting and useful, namely the word ‘knack’. An ugly word if ever there was one! My sense is this word is dying out and is looked down on as a bit vulgar and trite. Perhaps then we need to change the way we use words and try to overcome our prejudices and preconceptions, as the definition of this word reveals a very useful descriptive term, ie ‘to have the knack of something’, is to be able to do something fluently and easily. The word isn’t trendy or part of the business buzzwords vocab like ‘start with why’, ‘deep dive’ or ‘bandwidth’, but for my money is all the better for that. By engaging with rarely used terminology you attract attention of the right sort, and in this particular case, you effortlessly tap into synonymous areas of meaning like ‘aptitude, dexterity and skill’.
Be brave
Be brave – expand your vocabulary and simultaneously expand your mind, your breadth of appeal, your chances of making a connection and possibly raising a dull routine chat, which is going nowhere, to a rich, rapport-laden exchange of some depth, which will cement a two-way dialogue that both parties are interested in improving to mutual advantage!